I feel a hot wind on my shoulder...

I'm surprised Nate beat me to the punch. The amount of hassle that comes from me for him to post anything is triple the work he puts into each of his posts, the bastard.

2008 is gone. 2009 is here. We're all happy!

But I have seen a disturbing trend. The good old "WE'RE ONE YEAR CLOSER TO 2012 OH SHIT BALLS WE'RE DEAD!!!"

No.

Let me spell it out: WE'RE NOT DEAD.

The illustrious date of 12/21/2012, for those informed, is the date in which the Mayan calendar stops, apparently predicting some widespread change.

Now, give a date and a promise of worldwide change in the world, and the first thing on everyone's mind is "DEATH AND THE APOCALYPSE OMG NOOOOOOOO!"

Calm down, no. It's not happening. Just because some dead civilization forgot to finish their calendar, does not mean we're all dead. Some magical asteroid isn't coming on such a specific date. Jesus Christ, who has nothing to do with the fucking Mayans, isn't descending on us for our final salvation (that is, if you even believe that'll happen).

People will die on that day, but nothing more than the norm. Maybe a bit more than usual, and let me tell you why. Those idiotic enough to believe our forthcoming doom is on that day might get a bit antsy...might start killing themselves or even others. It's nothing different then any other day that has some sort of darkness attached to it. For example, Columbine happening on Adolf Hitler's birthday.

In conclusion, December 21st, 2012 will come...and pass...and we'll all be hunky dory. So shut the fuck up.

And have a nice year.

You fucks.

QUEER ALERT: THE POETRY SPEAKS VOLUMES ABOUT MY ASS

You know, I was on my 360, playing Rock Band 2, and swearing out every motherfucker who sucked dick at the game. I then came across a player's profile, and his/her "bio" (I have a Ulysses S Grant quote on the Art of War because I'm fucking awesome), I saw this...really deep poem. It barely rhymed, but it didn't have to. It spoke...worlds to me. I nearly teared up. It motivated me to come up with my own deep poem about me. So, please, have a read, and tell me what you think:

--------------------------------------------

In the darkness of the night
May the spirits come and make me whole

A draining day such as this was just too much

Forgoing the usual theatrics
Under the moonlit sky
Comes the nightmares of the day
Killing me tortuously slow
I am merely a man
Naked among the arrows
Gearing up for my execution

Many think I'm crazy
Others think I'm a genius
Really I'm both
Only one problem:
Neither are alive

AKA: Poets who right shit like this need to be shot for their stupidity (find the hidden message lololololol)

Official Failblog PS: All blogs will now contain the tag: AMERICA FUCK YEAH. Starting three days ago.