You know, I was on my 360, playing Rock Band 2, and swearing out every motherfucker who sucked dick at the game. I then came across a player's profile, and his/her "bio" (I have a Ulysses S Grant quote on the Art of War because I'm fucking awesome), I saw this...really deep poem. It barely rhymed, but it didn't have to. It spoke...worlds to me. I nearly teared up. It motivated me to come up with my own deep poem about me. So, please, have a read, and tell me what you think:
--------------------------------------------
In the darkness of the night
May the spirits come and make me whole
A draining day such as this was just too much
Forgoing the usual theatrics
Under the moonlit sky
Comes the nightmares of the day
Killing me tortuously slow
I am merely a man
Naked among the arrows
Gearing up for my execution
Many think I'm crazy
Others think I'm a genius
Really I'm both
Only one problem:
Neither are alive
AKA: Poets who right shit like this need to be shot for their stupidity (find the hidden message lololololol)
Official Failblog PS: All blogs will now contain the tag: AMERICA FUCK YEAH. Starting three days ago.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
A Post About A Series Of Tubes
If you were like me and didn't wake up until after the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade was over, here's what you missed:
There's a part of me laughing at this, and there's a part of me crying mercifully for the future.
Let's take a step back in the time machine and go back to the early days of the internet. No, not back to the early, early days when the 13 websites on the internet were all porn. But a little later than that. Kiddies, there was a time when we didn't have things like "Cable Internet" or "DSL" Nope, we had "56k" plugged right into the phone line. I remember the days of me using our shitty AT&T service, my mother yelling at me "Nate, get off the internet! We need to make a call!" Ahh... the internet was a completely different beast then.
We didn't have YouTube back then. Lets say you were trying to look up Primus music videos, you simply could not point your browser to YouTube, or Veoh, or Megavideo or one of the few dozen streaming video sites. No, you searched Yahoo (because Google was obscure and non-existant then, shocking) for three hours until you got to some dude's FTP site in Moscow who happened to rip these videos from television, but because the internet was painfully slow back then, the only way he could upload them without it taking three years was to put them into a format that was roughly the size of a postage stamp. But you found these videos, and you waited the four hours it took to download, and you enjoyed these videos. Because that's all you could find. And downloading music? Before big-bad-Napster came along, that was not possible.
But back in this incarnation of the internet, it wasn't widely used. The only people using it were dorks like us. Everyone else knew how good it was, but they weren't using it regularly. I mean, it was pointless to wait for the news to load online, when you could go to the store and buy a newspaper in the time that it'd load. The internet was not just a viable option for everyday people. The internet was almost like an exclusive club.
Lets go back to 2008.
If you don't use the internet, please stand up now.
...right.
The internet is mainstream now. You have to go to the deep, dark, bowels of the woods in order to find someone who doesn't use the internet for anything. The internet was slowly becoming popular culture. I mean, first, you had VH1 showing YouTube videos. That's alright, because they showed it at a time when only internet people were awake, and plus, VH1 pretty much caters to our crowd anyway (I swear, I've watched every single "I Love The____" at least a dozen times). Then you've got Weezer's video for their song Pork and Beans but, that's alright, because again, Weezer could pull this off. They're that type of crowd.
But we've jumped the shark with this Macy's Parade business.
Matt of X-Entertainment has put many reviews of old Macy's Thanksgiving Parades on his website and one of the things he often says is that looking back at these old Parades really shows you what pop culture was for that time. And Pop Culture in 2008 is Rick Rolling.
Let's think about this for a minute. Whomever planned this parade thought it'd be a good idea to invite Rick Astley to perform on a float at THE Macy's Thanksgiving Parade based on an internet joke, because let's face it, what the fuck was Rick Astley doing all this time? Then someone in the Macy's organization okayed this idea. This means that knew what Rick Rolling was, and assumed that the hundreds of Americanswatching leaving the parade on while they're making dinner knew what this joke was too.
Don't get me wrong, I mean, it's always a victory when a meme gets onto a national broadcast of some kind, but this wasn't even a prank. Someone willingly put this on the air. It absolutely blows my mind. Especially that last line. "I love Rick Rolling." Sweet Moses.
The internet is in a different place now. One that not geeks and nerds use, but one that everyone uses. Granted, there will still be 4chan jokes that will never see the public. But still, the internet is mainstream, who knows what will show up on ABC, CBS or NBC next.
There's a part of me laughing at this, and there's a part of me crying mercifully for the future.
Let's take a step back in the time machine and go back to the early days of the internet. No, not back to the early, early days when the 13 websites on the internet were all porn. But a little later than that. Kiddies, there was a time when we didn't have things like "Cable Internet" or "DSL" Nope, we had "56k" plugged right into the phone line. I remember the days of me using our shitty AT&T service, my mother yelling at me "Nate, get off the internet! We need to make a call!" Ahh... the internet was a completely different beast then.
We didn't have YouTube back then. Lets say you were trying to look up Primus music videos, you simply could not point your browser to YouTube, or Veoh, or Megavideo or one of the few dozen streaming video sites. No, you searched Yahoo (because Google was obscure and non-existant then, shocking) for three hours until you got to some dude's FTP site in Moscow who happened to rip these videos from television, but because the internet was painfully slow back then, the only way he could upload them without it taking three years was to put them into a format that was roughly the size of a postage stamp. But you found these videos, and you waited the four hours it took to download, and you enjoyed these videos. Because that's all you could find. And downloading music? Before big-bad-Napster came along, that was not possible.
But back in this incarnation of the internet, it wasn't widely used. The only people using it were dorks like us. Everyone else knew how good it was, but they weren't using it regularly. I mean, it was pointless to wait for the news to load online, when you could go to the store and buy a newspaper in the time that it'd load. The internet was not just a viable option for everyday people. The internet was almost like an exclusive club.
Lets go back to 2008.
If you don't use the internet, please stand up now.
...right.
The internet is mainstream now. You have to go to the deep, dark, bowels of the woods in order to find someone who doesn't use the internet for anything. The internet was slowly becoming popular culture. I mean, first, you had VH1 showing YouTube videos. That's alright, because they showed it at a time when only internet people were awake, and plus, VH1 pretty much caters to our crowd anyway (I swear, I've watched every single "I Love The____" at least a dozen times). Then you've got Weezer's video for their song Pork and Beans but, that's alright, because again, Weezer could pull this off. They're that type of crowd.
But we've jumped the shark with this Macy's Parade business.
Matt of X-Entertainment has put many reviews of old Macy's Thanksgiving Parades on his website and one of the things he often says is that looking back at these old Parades really shows you what pop culture was for that time. And Pop Culture in 2008 is Rick Rolling.
Let's think about this for a minute. Whomever planned this parade thought it'd be a good idea to invite Rick Astley to perform on a float at THE Macy's Thanksgiving Parade based on an internet joke, because let's face it, what the fuck was Rick Astley doing all this time? Then someone in the Macy's organization okayed this idea. This means that knew what Rick Rolling was, and assumed that the hundreds of Americans
Don't get me wrong, I mean, it's always a victory when a meme gets onto a national broadcast of some kind, but this wasn't even a prank. Someone willingly put this on the air. It absolutely blows my mind. Especially that last line. "I love Rick Rolling." Sweet Moses.
The internet is in a different place now. One that not geeks and nerds use, but one that everyone uses. Granted, there will still be 4chan jokes that will never see the public. But still, the internet is mainstream, who knows what will show up on ABC, CBS or NBC next.
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