SPECIAL BREAKING EDITION OF THE 'FUCK THAT' PROGRAM

I have just spent 45 minutes battling the worst thing to be battling at 11:30/Midnight.

FIRE ALARMS, or "WAAAH WHERE'S MY NEW BATTERY? I WILL ANNOY YOU UNTIL YOU GET ME A FUCKING BATTERY!"

It's the most fucked thing at a fucked time [admitedly, this happening at 3 in the morning would have resulted in me destroying it, but let's get on with the story].

I walk into my bedroom, ready to get my 360 on...when the damn fire alarm beeps. Why now? The only one home, other than me, is my mom...and I didn't want to wake her up because she wasn't feeling well. So, I went hard to work, getting the stool out and preparing to figure the problem. Well I knew the problem, but I needed to see what kind of battery it was. Then I went upstairs to the kitchen (What, I'm the only one with a kitchen upstairs? Don't blame me, blame the retards who built this house), and got a battery. Now, let me tell you how loud this beep is. It's every other minute, and you could hear it if you were standing outside the house. Yeah.

Anyways, got the new battery, downstairs, put that new fucker in, close the lid. All right, time to put everything aw- *BEEP*. I was dumbfounded. I put that fucker in. Did I put it in right?....Fuck yeah I did, I'm not stupid. But, anyways, I try it again. Didn't work. Put that battery in at every conceivable way I could, and a few ways that defied the laws of physics, and still wouldn't work. Hmm...dud battery? Probably not, but I was getting angry, so I was ready to try anything.

Went back upstairs and got battery number two. Went back downstairs, and put that fucker in. Held my breath........*BEEP*. God damn it. Now I'm getting pissed. It's been about 20 minutes, and it's still beeping. Why God? Maybe it wasn't in all the way, so I shoved as hard as I can. I swear, I heard cracks as I push this fucking thing into the ceiling, trying to establish a circuit. Would it work? Of course not, that'd be easy, and this thing just wanted to fuck with me. So...reluctantly...I tried another battery, because I'm at my wits end here.

I put in battery three...the right way...as far as I can...with the cover closed...with everything correctly in place......and.............*BEEP*. I exploded. I had it. I was going to rip that motherfucker out the wall. Before I did, I leaned against the wall, getting ready to rip the thing apart. I then spied the carbon monoxide meter, heard the beep.....and......I saw the "battery" light flash. HOLY SHIT A CHALLENGER APPEARS.

I...WAS...TRICKED! It was the carbon monoxide alarm the whole time! What a conspiricy! Half of me was relieved that I can now fix this. Most of me was pissed because I just wasted 40 minutes on the wrong fucking alarm and I was getting a headache from the loud beeping. Let's give me credit here. The two alarms are literally maybe a foot apart from each other. The fire alarm was flashing, and I looked at that damn monoxide alarm, and the light on that thing was fucking weak. Right...so I found the right one. Got that shit off the wall, and proceeded to put the new battery in.

This is a bit weird, because the shit beeps louder when I try to get the battery in. It was hard work, tight fit, and everytime I screwed up, the monoxide alarm screamed at me, telling me how wrong I was. I almost threw that shit out the window, I damn near did. But finally...FINALLY...I got the battery in.

No more beeps.

...........
..............
................


FUCK

FIRE/MONOXIDE

ALARM

WOULD RATHER DIE IN A FIRE.

I'll wait in this place, where the shadows run from themselves...

I picked the wrong morning to blog. Not really an ideas, not really in the mood to heavily think of any ideas, so this will probably end up being a slew of randomness.

Randomness number 1: Random Omegle Chats.


You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Sup?
Stranger: hi
Stranger: im fine and you?
You: I was, until you gave me that sad excuse for English.
You: Try again.
You: Try not to sound like a monkey.
Stranger: im japanese..
You: I fucking don't care.
You: Act like you know something.
Stranger: so i dont really understand..some english..words
You: Do you understand "die in a fire"?
Stranger: ...no..?
You: Okay.
You: I'll break it down.
Stranger: ah ok
You: Do you know what happened in Hiroshima?
You: That's what I want you to do.
Stranger: i wont do it
You: Yes you bloody will.
Stranger: you cant make me do it
You: Yes I bloody can.
Stranger: and how will you do that then
You: All it takes is a few dirty bombs.
You: Your country isn't equipped to deal with anything right now.
Stranger: im not doing it
You: Yes you fucking are.
You: You will get blown to hell by a nuclear missile.
You: And my fucking god, you will like it.
Stranger: what are you my father
You: Thank God no.
You: Imagine if I had to pay child support for you?
Stranger: i will tell him that you said this and then he will hunt you down
You: Go right ahead you little shit.
You: I'll be waiting to scare him off when he finds out that I'm 9 inches taller than him.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
-------------------------------------------------

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: What bands you into?
Stranger: hello stranger
You: Just answer the question.
Stranger: CMCC
You: What the fuck is that?
Stranger: thats CMCC
Stranger: dont u know?
You: No, I fucking don't know, you dense fuck.
Stranger: wtf
You: Otherwise I wouldn't be asking.
You: Jesus Christ.
Stranger: holy shit
You: Like all I want is to find out what the hell a CMCC is.
You: And you're being a retard, and not telling me.
You: Like who screwed with your brain so much that you no longer have any common sense or deductive reasoning?
Stranger: yas ofcouse
Stranger: couse i dont know
You: Are you fucking confused?
You: Like let me break down this chat for you.
You: Because you can't do that yourself.
You: You retard.
You: I asked what band you liked.
You: You go CMCC.
Stranger: and?
You: I go "who the fuck is that?"
You: You go "It's CMCC!!!"
You: And ask "you don't know?"
You: And I go "No, I fucking don't retard."
You: "Other wise I wouldn't be asking".
You: And then you get all gay.
You: And I go "Who screwed with your brain?"
You: Your answer? "Yes"......
You: .......................
You: And then you randomly go "I DON'T KNOW OF COURSE!"
Stranger: im sorry because English isnt my mother languge
You: ALL THIS
You: BECAUSE I WANT TO KNOW
You: WHAT THE FUCK
You: A CMCC IS.
You: YOU WILL FUCKING TELL ME
You: WHAT CMCC IS.
You: WHAT DOES CMCC STAND FOR
Stranger: CMCC is a Chinese Bends
You: A CHINESE BENDS?
You: I'VE JUST MALFUNCTIONED
Stranger: bands
You have disconnected.

----------------------------

And that was me apparently just targeting foreigners. To be fair, and totally technical, Americans would be foreigners to me. But anyways.

Random Number 2: General Education in college. We all have to do it, but you're ten times as fucked if you're a Psych major. Why? BECAUSE YOU MUST TAKE EVERYTHING! You're forced to go through high school...again. Why? FUCK IF I KNOW. I'm taking classes that I literally took in high school. I took that in high school, give me the fucked up mental disease course. I'm sick of English courses. Sick, sick, fucking sick of them. If I have to do another stupid mechanics paper, or have to answer another annoying question concerning the writing process, I will start becoming a crazy coke addict. At least they're having fun. This sucks.

Random Number 3: Look mom, I can plastic drumkit it up



Yes that's me. I swear. I want to be good at one thing in this world, and damn it, it will be me hitting four electronic pads in a video game.

And that's it for now. Sorry it isn't a twenty page in-depth analysis of fucking video game movies, but I somewhat try. Until next time, die in a fire.